Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Strong-Willed Child

I haven't posted for a while, due to having a bit too much on my plate, but things should return to "normal", whatever that is, slowly but surely.

Lately we have had a real struggle with Stella being so strong-willed.  Everything, and I mean everything, seems to be a battle.  We would ask her the same thing over and over and over again, and it would appear like she is listening, only for her not to respond and to turn around and have a lie-down on the carpet or to carry on doing whatever it was she was doing.

At times I wonder whether she still can't hear well or maybe she simply doesn't understand what we are saying or that we are actually talking to HER and not someone else or maybe she thinks we are kidding, surely we cannot be asking her to pick up her toys!

Seeing that her dad and I, as many other parents, don't always agree 100 % on how to handle various situations, it very often results in us arguing over it.

Although I'm sometimes very skeptical to agree to everything I find online, I have read up on raising strong-willed or spirited children and came across two articles which I found very informative and helpful.  The first article gives various ideas on how to react in different situations to diffuse battles and the 2nd article actually made me realize how our wrong reactions could really hurt and confuse a little child.  This really made me think that we should really be more considerate and careful about what we say in the heat of the moment.

Here are the links:

http://www.ahaparenting.com/parentin-tools/positive-discipine/Parenting-Strong-Willed-Child 


Hopefully I would at least be able to implement some of these ideas and that it would make a difference in the amount of battles we have daily.

I get the idea that Nika might also be strong-willed, but she is very young still so it is hard to tell.  It is quite obvious that she knows what she wants and makes herself heard when you do otherwise!   However, I have noticed that as small as she still is, when she is asked to pick up something and through it in the bin for example, she obeys with no arguments.  However, if you ask her to open her mouth to brush her teeth or not to tear the toilet paper in a million pieces, she is not always as obedient.  

I cannot help but think that whoever said "it is as easy as taking a toy from a baby" has never actually tried just that!  That is another thing you will not easily get right when Nika has got something that she is adamant she wants to play with (usually a musical toy in the evening or early morning hours!).